Nerdtopia
  Abode of Nerds, Bandies, and their kith.

Part One: Mini Article of Great Boredom and Haste. Related to PSAT.

So. At the beginning of the PSAT we were told to check a little box to get scholarship information. Of course it doesn't apply to our race, grade, grades, name, address, or ANYTHING about you. so, what do you guys call mail that has nothing to do with you? Last time I checked it was called "junk mail." Maybe I'm the only one, but I sure hate it, wasting paper to send me stuff that I will throw away. Also telling me to join the army, and get free school. Or telling me "we have scholarships." REALLY?! I assumed that already. If it has nothing to do with me, why do I want it? Send me a carpet magazine. Send me credit card applications, send me an AOL CD. Send me a postage paid envelope so I can kill whoever sends me this crap. For free. Another sad thing they really do send you credit card applications, but they wont give you the card, because you are going into college, so you have no credit. The Procter said, "YOU MUST CHECK THIS BOX... if you want scholarship information." I plan on going to college, I'd like a scholarship... I wont get one, but I'd like one. But I don't want a bunch of mail that tells me that scholarships exist. I'm aware thank you. I recently looked for some of this information sent to my brother, which I am assuming came after he took the PSAT. He seems to have thrown it away. What I do recall was At least one, some times more ads a day from the army/navy/marines. Every day something from some college. I believe he showed me a bunch of them that were the same. You know what else that reminds me of? Telemarketers. Who liked them? No one, they made a list to stop them from calling you. Yet you are supposed to sign up for this stuff. If any of you did sign up please show me something they send you, so I can elaborate. Man. Me elaborating, you know I'm pissed if I do that. All English teachers need to do is get me pissed off. Anyhow, rather than the college junk mail, I'll read you my junk e-mail. 'Cause guess what, it's the same thing.

• "ingavonate ipertossici macigni xm02 monitors jonsson
• * Great service, fast delivery * H A R D to find drugs * LO00W priz
• [email protected] - Parac-odin-Su'perVia)gra etc
• http://gn.net.yourstuffsoltuion.com?j=T12k62
• Bvy Meds at 80% off, Next day air Shipping
• Are you hungry? asked the woman's voice"

Seriously. Same thing. Someone tell me one difference? And guess what, I just got something else to rant about. It's frigging Adelphia�s fault I'm getting these emails. Before I just deleted them or Thunderbird (Mozilla) did for me. I read the CC. Guess what, all Adelphia users. Man if my email address didn't rock, I'd get a new one. The fact that I don't use it doesn't matter. I would like to know the ratio of real emails to junk mail I get. I'd say it's around 1:20 being generous. and not exaggerating. Here�s another:

• "Mdbozic,you need to look at this now!
• H G H AT 50% OFF RETAIL.
• B-U-Y 2 GET 1 F-R-E-E!
• 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed!
• Or YOUR MONEY BACK!
• || CLICKY HERE ||"

That�s barely intelligible. I don't know what they are selling. This is the subject line "taxidermist 56 biceps." Man. And I still don't see the difference. I am now going to write my own College mail/Junk mail:

DOOD YOU COMZ HUR

doOOODOODOdoOD

TOZ TEH COLLAGEHE ME PAYS YOU MOENTS TO JOINS TEHARNY ARNY POATY YOUMG OODS FOR HALF OFFF COLLAGEGES mE WANT oyU ATES ME coLLAGEBE.

Part Two: Mini Article of Great Boredom and Haste. Related to Adelphia.

Thanks to my original article concerning Junk/College Mail I discovered the culpret behind my massive barrage of junk mail I receive. Adelphia. My ISP is the biggest sellout company EVER! I also know they were the leading sellouts of pirates using Kazaa and other such programs after the crackdown started. I'm glad they're getting paid to fill my mailbox with crap. Luckily I don't have Cable TV, because of Adelphia�s incompetent installers. The instructions were "put cable on the TV downstairs, and the computer upstairs." The installer put cable on the computer downstairs, then left. We had dish before cable even came to our area. Dish rocks. Dish Network rocks the world of dishes. When Viacom raised its price for dish and not cable, guess who didn't take it? Dish Network. Stupid T.V. monopolies. Sad thing is people agreed with Viacom they complained and threatened to stop using dish. I wantzors mys MTV. I hope those idiots have cable now, 'cause it sucks. I hate anti-dish commercials. Their newest one is about "rewinding TV" they say "you can't do that with a dish." Is that so? I've been able to do that with my dish for years before you came out with it. My dish records what i want it to, and has an hour dedicated to whatever you are watching. Know what that means? Turn it on, leave do something, come back, and you can watch a program without commercials. And years ahead of cable, who claims that I can't do that with my dish. I would like to thank Dish Network for its amusingness. Their next best complaint is, "me no can see MTVZ bercause tree is in way of me dish." Well, genius, don't point the dish at a tree! I live in the friggin woods and I have no problem with reception. The only problem I have is during a storm. And I can get over that. Plus in half the storms that screw up my dish I bet cable wires are knocked out. And I bet Adelphia wines about it and takes three days to replace it. Which brings me to Allegheny. Another good thing about Dish Network, they recently replace my old system for free, as it was going to stop working, due to how old it was. They are also replacing this new system with a DVR a $200 item, for 25 bucks. They also put in a free local channels satellite, which is also the satellite needed for HDTV. Not bad, if you ask me. I bet if something like this happened to Adelphia, they would either try to let me rot without my upstairs TV or they would start sending me junk email through the old receiver. And all the junk I get from them is about prescription drugs without a prescription. I mean really. Fist they rat out anyone using Kazaa, then they send you emails about things just as illegal. That�s corruption at its finest.

In closing: ROCK ON DISH NETWORK! Adelphia, go feel good in your giant pool of virgin blood.

Part Three: Mini Article of Great Boredom and Haste. Related to Allegheny.

My power goes out at least once a year for a course of days. every time this happens Allegheny claims it's an underground wire, thus it takes five days to fix. Hey! Morons! Fix the wire! We have a generator now, because it happens reliably. The only thing I can count on from this company. This does give me time to catch up on my reading at least. I read the majority of the first wheel of time book in a power outage. The most recent one, which was short, and didn't last a whole 24 hours, so I expect a longer one later, gave me time to read Misery, which I recommend. A truly creepy book by Stephen King. If you ask me one of the creepiest due to its plausibility. Anywho, things need power, and I need things. I say every time the power goes out they pay me for any food that goes bad. This doesn't happen much, because we keep the 'fridge closed or running, but I could make it happen, and become rich. Man, if i was working on a wire, I believe I would put the two ends together. That would work until I got a replacement wire, which I would then attach, quickly. That wouldn't leave me without power for five days. I would like to go turn off everyone who works for Allegheny�s power. Jerks. Rot. I will thank you for one thing, every time my power goes out that�s one less day I have to read junk mail. But again, thank thunderbird for filtering the crap.

In closing: Rot.

- Ben -